What I Learned in Isolation

When quarantine started, I had just gone through a break up. My mother was fighting cancer. But most significantly, my mental health weighed heavily on me. Very often when I go through hurtful change, I distract myself. I try to keep myself busy and I end up repressing my emotions. Never speak.

As soon as school was over, my mom was living in her previous home, so I was truly in isolation for about five months. Thankfully, being in isolation has taught me about self-love and vulnerability. Realistically, I didn’t wake up one day and had an epiphany. It was a process. It took time. 

Mental health is a very serious subject. Now, I look back and realize that it was the highlight of self-quarantine. Mental health comes with factors, causes and effects. For me, it was trauma, emotional wounds and repressed pain. As soon as I became aware that I needed to heal and reflect, I got to work. This time, on myself.

I began with a schedule. I woke up early and prepared a minor breakfast, went to my local park, walked and watched the sun rise. After eating my breakfast on the bright, green grass, I brought out my journal. To write my feelings, affirmations, and plans.

From there on, my entire day consisted of eating healthy and complimenting myself. But the most important task I had to do was revisit old wounds or memories and feel them, accept them and let them go.

I had to nitpick every knot like a tangled yarn of wounds. Consistency was key. Surely enough, every day got better. Soon, I’d know the effect of rejecting myself and putting my needs until later. Just simply, lacking self-love.

Now, I look back and I value my worth. I love myself.

Yesterday I got the news that my mom is cancer free. In all actuality, the Universe had a plan for me. It has a plan for all of us. The impact of quarantine in my life was a renewal. My subconscious mind was full of old beliefs, patterns and negative self-talk. I cleansed my mind, so it cleansed my life.